The Not-So-Sexy Side of Sex!
When you’re trying to navigate sexual pain, lube is NOT the solution. Today, we’re diving headfirst into the bedroom’s Bermuda Triangle: sexual and pelvic pain. If you’ve ever embarked on a steamy night only to end up feeling like you’re the main character in a not-so-romantic comedy, you’re in the right place.
Sexual pain is a complex issue that affects countless women, casting a shadow over their intimate lives and often leading to decreased sexual desire. Understanding this pain and seeking the right support are crucial steps toward healing and regaining sexual wellness. This blog post aims to empower women with knowledge, practical strategies, and resources to navigate this challenging journey.
Why Does My Vajayjay Have a Headache?
First off, let’s get real about what’s going on down there. Vaginismus, one of the VIP guests in the sexual pain party, is something I encounter often in my practice. It’s like your vagina is saying, “Nope, not tonight, honey,” turning what should be a pleasure cruise into a no-go zone.
But fear not! Whether it’s vaginismus or another pelvic floor plot twist causing the stir, understanding is the first step to reclaiming your sexy.
The (sexual) Painful Truth and How to Handle It
Sex should not be a pain in the… well, you know. If it is, it’s time to unravel the mystery. Here’s how to get started:
- Visit the Experts: Think of a sex therapist or a pelvic floor specialist as your private detective in the case of “Who Hijacked My Orgasms?” You can find a certified sex therapist in your area at www.aasect.org and a pelvic floor specialist in your area at www.womenshealthapta.org.
- Books like “When Sex Hurts” by Goldstein, Pukall, & Goldstein for women experiencing pain related to sexual activity can be your guidebook to understanding the nitty-gritty. Or “Beating Endo” for overcoming endometriosis by Orbuch & Stei.
- Podcast Your Pain Away: Knowledge is power, and power can be hilarious. The Dr. Drew Podcast with guest Dr. Andrew Goldstein is informative and the Tight Lipped Podcast offers various talks on all types of sexual pelvic pain. Meanwhile, “The V Hive” dives into sexual health topics with a mix of expert advice and real-talk.
- Websites Worth a Click:
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- Pelvic Floor & Sexual Medicine providers can help you find a provider that is familiar with sexual pain disorders and won’t just tell you to have a glass of wine to make everything fine.
- National Vulvodynia Association: Your go-to for all things vulvodynia.
- Vaginismus.com: Because understanding vaginismus is step one to telling it to pack its bags.
- Pelvic Pain.org: The International Pelvic Pain Society isn’t as exclusive as it sounds – they’re here to help everyone.
Rewriting Your Bedroom Script
Your sex life deserves better than a pain-filled narrative. It’s time to edit the script and aim for a blockbuster romance (or at least a rom-com with fewer cringe-worthy scenes).
- Mind Over Matter: Mindfulness and meditation can help manage pain and stress. Imagine telling your pelvic floor to chill out with the power of your mind!
- Lifestyle Tweaks: Sometimes, a few lifestyle changes can make a big difference. More yoga, less stress, and perhaps adjusting your diet could be the secret sauce to a pain-free rendezvous.
- Communication is Key: Talk to your partner about what’s going on. A sex therapist can help you figure out what you do and don’t want sexually and learn effective ways to CUMmunicate that to your partner. Remember, it’s not just a solo journey – it’s a buddy movie!
Bringing Sexy Back, Pain-Free
Let’s face it, no one wants their sexy time to feel like a trip to the dentist (unless you’re into that – no judgment here!). Here’s how to bring back the spark:
- Explore and Experiment: There’s more to sex than just the grand finale. Exploring other forms of intimacy can be both satisfying and less stressful. Finding ways to focus on outercourse (yes, sex doesn’t have to be all about penetration) can create positive body memories that make you desire sex because there isn’t that anticipatory anxiety about potential pain. Check out my blog on various other topics including fueling sexual desire.
- Sexual Healing: Sometimes, professional help is the best step forward. A sex therapist (ahem, like yours truly) can provide personalized strategies to tackle the pain and the brain.
Final Thoughts with a Wink and a Nod
Sexual pain and reduced desire can significantly impact a woman’s life, but they are not insurmountable challenges. With the right information, support, and interventions, it is possible to navigate these issues successfully. By taking proactive steps to understand and manage sexual pain, women can reclaim their sexual health and enjoy fulfilling intimate relationships.
It’s not okay for sexual and pelvic pain to crash your party. With the right tools, you can turn the music back up and keep dancing in the sheets. Don’t let your sexuality be defined by pain, and with a bit of help, you can rewrite your story to one of pleasure and connection.Keep exploring, stay curious, and above all, keep CUMmunicating. After all, an orgasm a day keeps the doctor away… or so they say!
Check out more fun and feisty insights at TalkSexWithLiz.com and remember, in the world of sex, the only bad question is the one you don’t ask!
Now go have sex! (and remember sex doesn’t have to be intercourse!)