It’s been a long Winter and the sun hasn’t been shining like we’re used to here in Long Beach California and damn is it a mood killer! Not only a mood killer, but a mojo killer! I know you may have been wondering “Where’s my Talk Sex With Liz updates?!” I hope you haven’t been worried. HaHa. Seriously though, like many of my clients, this bad weather has impacted my inner sex guru. As a result, I haven’t had an overflow of sexy tips to share.
Sure, a little bit of staying inside can be sexy. Some cuddling, sleeping in, or even staying in bed all day with your lover can be great for reconnecting physically and emotionally. But day after day of shitty weather can result in the seasonal blues or even depression.
If you DON’T struggle with depression or feelings of low mood/energy but DO struggle with general self care, then keep reading, this info can be helpful for you too!
When you are feeling emotionally heavy it can be hard to tap into feeling sexy and sexual. You may tend to isolate, sit, or eat more when feeling down or depressed. These behaviors can add to depression or feeling emotionally overwhelmed. And I know you know this… Overeating and excessive sedentary behavior don’t typically make you feel more sexy or sexual. If you’re feeling depressed or overwhelmed it’s pretty hard to tap into sexual desire. No doubt, if you’re feeling depressed or overwhelmed you’re probably more focused on surviving than fucking. And rightly so.
So I’ve put together some tips below for improving your self care. These may be less sexy than usual, but essential to moving you towards feeling sexy or sexual. They’re based upon the teachings of 7 habits of highly effective people.
Ultimately, if you aren’t taking care of your emotional and psychological well being then you will lack the motivation to use any sex tips I suggest. It’s like trying to put a roof on a house that has no walls or foundation.
Did you know that if you aren’t doing self care on a regular basis, you are facilitating your feelings of overwhelm or depression? Just taking 20 minutes a day for self care is a proactive way to limit feelings of overwhelm and depression and ultimately create space for sexual desire. I wish there were an anti-depression fairy or cheerleader. Unfortunately, the depression fairy isn’t going to come over and fix things for you. But I’m here to help… dadadadah!!!
Just do ONE of these things everyday to create something different for yourself.
- Mental/Intellectual– If your work isn’t intellectually stimulating, find something that sharpens, stimulates, or challenges your mind. Reading or learning a new language or hobby.
- Social – make plans to get out of the house with friends. Call/video call a friend to catch up – yes, it requires more effort than texting, but it will fill you up emotionally soooo much more. Have friends over if you don’t have the energy to get out of the house. Join an on-going group activity in your city.
- Emotional/Psychological – See a therapist. Join a support group. Journal on your thoughts and try to reframe negative/distorted thinking to more positive/adaptive thinking. Read a self help book. Watch youtube videos on how to elevate your mood, etc. Help a friend or stranger in need.
- Physical – get out of the house and walk for 20 minutes. Masturbate. Find a workout, yoga, dance instruction video on youtube. Go to the gym – even if only for 20 minutes on the treadmill.
- Spiritual – Screaming ooohgawwdd from great orgasms is certainly one way. Meditation. Prayer. Being in nature.
Once you build that foundation of consistent self care, you’re more likely to have the energy to take on some of the sexy tips, tricks, and suggestions I share. If this seems like too much, it’s time to get into therapy. You can search for a general therapist in your area here.