In my latest article for Theravive.com I talk about how to address low sexual desire as a New Year’s Resolution – More Sex in 2015. Here’s what I had to say:
“One of the most frequent sexual complaints for women is low sexual desire (Ellison, 2001). And one common mistake couples make when trying to fix this or other sexual problems on their own is jumping to solutions without taking time to understand the reasons for the low desire, then putting a band aid on something that needs stitches. This quite often just leaves a scar.
Increasing sexual desire can be very simple but surprisingly, low libido is one of the most difficult sex related issues to treat. This is because it is often just the symptom of other more complicated issues within the relationship or individual. Also there is rarely one single thing causing the low sexual desire. Common causes typically fall into one or more of these four categories: Medical/Biological, Relationship, Emotional, and Societal. And as you can guess there are many subcategories within these main categories.”
This year let’s resolve to see the value of a satisfying sexual relationship. Most long term couples experience mismatched desire at one time or another. It’s common, it’s fixable – it doesn’t need to be a relationship death sentence – but it’s an important piece to maintaining a satisfying long term relationship. Sex is important! Low sexual desire has a negative impact on sexual and relationship satisfaction (Bridges & Horne, 2007; Davies, S., Katz, J., & Jackson, J.L. 1999; Mark 2012; Mark & Murray 2012). So here are some ideas on where to start.
Doc – just give me a pill!
Sure low sex drive can be medically driven, for example medication, in particular, birth control pills, menopause, pregnancy, childbirth, sexual pain, depression, long-term illness, etc. can all contribute to low sex drive. Seeing a medical doctor to rule out a medical cause to low sex drive is important to do before starting sex therapy. One other obvious reason for low sex drive is a lack of self-care and too much stress. Women in particular are known for sacrificing their self-care for the care of their families. Not paying attention to what our bodies need and letting stress build up to an unmanageable state is not good for our partners or our children and commonly results in lowered libido.
To read the full article, New Year’s Resolution – More Sex in 2015, go to Theravive.com http://www.theravive.com/blog/post/2015/01/11/New-Years-Resolution-More-Sex-in-2015.aspx