Surviving Thanksgiving stress isn’t easy. Thanksgiving is the magical time of year when your family gathers to express gratitude, overeat, and – let’s be real – stress each other out. Whether it’s Uncle Joe’s loud political rants, blended family conflicts, or the logistical nightmare of figuring out how to navigate visiting multiple families in one day, tensions can run high. And unfortunately these holiday stressors don’t just vanish when it’s time to get sexy with your partner. In fact, they can spill over, turning small issues into big relationship challenges. But don’t worry – I’m here to help you navigate this emotional turkey trot and hopefully add a little spice. Read more to learn how to survive without roasting your relationship… in a bad way.
Step 1: Set Realistic Expectations (For Both Family and Romance)
Let’s start with a truth bomb: surviving Thanksgiving stress is a real concern for many. Thanksgiving isn’t the Instagram-perfect holiday you envision, with picture-perfect pies and endless smiles. Accepting that things will go wrong is step one. Parents will likely behave the way they always have, your partner might irritate you, and you might not be able to show up as the reasonable adult you intended.
Being proactive is key here.
Instead of snapping at your partner for doing that thing they always do, agree beforehand to roll with the punches. Make a plan of how to navigate likely scenarios as a team. Have a safe word, discuss how you will slip out early if need be. Suggest, “Let’s aim for laughter, not perfection,” or “Let’s tackle this as a team – and reward ourselves later with wine and cuddles.”
Step 2: Practice Gratitude it’s Thanksgiving! (Even When You Don’t Feel Like It)
Thanksgiving is literally about giving thanks, but when your partner disappoints you, or your mom passive-aggressively asks why you’re not pregnant yet, gratitude might feel like a distant dream.
Here’s a hack: Whatever you focus on gets bigger.
Focus on what’s good. Is your partner helping you chop vegetables? Did they rescue you from a long-winded conversation about cryptocurrency? These small gestures matter. Take a moment to say, “I appreciate you,” or even share a goofy, stress-relieving laugh about the chaos.
And gratitude isn’t just for your partner – it’s for you, too. Studies show that expressing gratitude reduces stress and strengthens relationships. Whatever you focus on gets bigger. Translation: thanking your partner for washing the dishes might just lead to an unexpected make-out session by the sink. Who knew?
Still at a loss, check out this article: Thanksgiving Is the Best/Worst Holiday for Your Relationship
Step 3: Keep the Spark Alive Amid the Thanksgiving Stress
Beyond surving Thanksgiving stresss… Speaking of make-out sessions, let’s talk about sex and intimacy during the holidays. With crowded houses, endless to-do lists, and the allure of post-dinner naps, romance might take a back seat. But staying connected doesn’t have to equal passionate sex-capades.
Think of simple ways to sneak in intimacy. A quick squeeze of the hand when your parents make passive-aggressive comments, a flirty whisper while passing the mashed potatoes, or a knowing glance when Uncle Joe starts his third conspiracy theory rant can work wonders. These small moments remind you both that you’re in this together.
If you’re staying overnight with family, remember that you’re no longer that teenager who gets in trouble for retreating to your room after dinner. It’s ok to sneak some quality time, even in a house packed with relatives – remember you’re an ADULT now. It’s healthy boundaries to take private time at the end of a long day to be with your partner to refuel your relationship love tank.
Step 4: Team Up Against External Stressors
Family dynamics can be exhausting, but they are much easier when you face them together. Is your mom interrogating your partner about their career? Jump in with a joke or redirect the conversation. Is your dad insisting you host next year’s Thanksgiving? Use your partner as a human shield (just kidding – kind of).
TIP: You don’t have to answer any questions or commit to requests on the spot. Here are some phrases to use when you’re unsure: “Let me think about it and get back to you.” “I’m not sure, let me see what I have coming up.” “That sounds like a great idea but I can’t commit just yet.” or even a simple, “Maybe, but let me get back to you to confirm.”
Presenting a united front is both empowering for you so you don’t commit to things you regret and essential for the strength of your relationship. Holidays are an opportunity to practice being a team. Supporting each other not only reduces stress but also strengthens your relationship.
Step 5: Laugh It Off
The secret weapon for surviving Thanksgiving stress is humor. Shared laughter releases tension and reminds you that, at the end of the day, this chaos is part of what makes the holidays memorable.
In fact, making humor part of your coping strategy can even enhance your romantic connection. Laughing together about the absurdities of the day creates a shared bond and keeps the mood light. Plus, nothing is sexier than someone who can make you giggle when you’re feeling overwhelmed. For more, check out my article on the benefits of laughter and playfulness.
Final Thoughts: Build Memories, Not Resentment
Thanksgiving is also an opportunity to deepen your connection with your partner. When you focus on teamwork, gratitude, and laughter, you’ll not only survive the stress but also come out stronger (and maybe even get closer).
And who knows? After the leftovers are packed away and you get some alone time, you might just find yourselves grateful for each other in ways you didn’t expect. After all, if you can navigate Thanksgiving together, you can handle anything, and you might even get laid.
Now, go have sex!